Thinking up blog names is hard

notcaragh:

I got Subway today for lunch at work. I asked for a 6” sub, untoasted. She said “untoasted?” I said “Yes, please.” She started to fill with toppings, stopped for a second and asked “Not toasted?” and I replied “Yes, not toasted. Thank you.” Then she put it in the oven and gave me a wide grin. I didn’t really understand what was going on between us, but it was obviously filled with hate so I just payed and left with my toasted sub.

 I think it’s safe to say that she was fucking with you dude… it must have been very satisfying for her. I mean, come one, wouldn’t you have enjoyed doing that to someone?

A bitch to be sure… but a funny bitch.

(via notcaragh)

No… but maybe it should be your mission in life to create a small town called Hannah, Montana… maybe near the Glacier National Park (I think that’s right… the one on the border with Canada anyway).

You should make it really tacky…

notcaragh:

Tonight my chemistry professor will be giving a lecture where he proves there is life after death, using math and science. Thinking about death makes me cry on the daily. Which is why if he proves successful, I will give him 10% of my income every year until I die. That or a blow job.

 It sounds like he might be heading for something like Division Theory

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Division_Theory 

It seems to be gaining in popularity and there are a few people claiming that it matches scientific and mathematical principles.

It’s utter bunk of course but there you go.

Still, if he does succeed in convincing you then maybe you could go down (see what I did there? Go down? Yeah OK, sorry) a third route which would be to give him 10% of your blow jobs every year if you’re haggling over the 10% income/blow job payment plan.

notcaragh:

I mean, like, what I’m trying to focus on is that in two or three days I will start having fantasies about kidnapping little half Asian babies. That’s one of the stages of PMS. My week will be: frustration, unbelievable depression, anger, larger breasts, depression again, chocolate, asian babies.

 Dude… product idea… Chocolate Asian Babies!

No? Pfffffft!

notcaragh:

Had a dream I received over $50,000 dollars because I suffered irreversible hearing loss after the movie theater played a movie starring Fran Drescher at top volume - so loud we couldn’t move, absolutely pinned to our seats.

For some reason the dream felt completely realistic. So realistic that when I woke up, in my half-asleep state I clapped my hands together to test my hearing. When I realized it was a dream, I wasn’t happy that I wasn’t deaf, no, I was completely fucking devastated that I do not have $50,000 coming to me.

 You know, I have had a thought and, call me crazy, I think that you’d quite like to have lots of money.